my3sonsalways: Blog

Sometimes things just work out...

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 03:11:02 GMT

I'm not sure why my luck has turned but I am thankful. C3 and I will be spending our vacation ALONE! My evil scheming has worked out! Dee decided that she would take the in-laws to the funeral and they left yesterday morning. She told them that once the funeral was over today she planned on heading back, barely giving them 24 hours to spend with family. She called me on Saturday and told me that this 'extra' expense would keep her from being able to go on vacation with me. Hmmmm... not sure how much extra expense she was going to incur since Dad offered to pay the gas and they were staying at relatives last night, but I was not going to argue. Thankfully I had not made the reservations which required me to pay the entire price upfront.

I debated all day Sunday on calling Grace and making up some excuse that I couldn't afford the big house on my own unless she could pay for half, which I knew she couldn't do. I never got around to it on Sunday but planned on doing it on Monday. Luckily I didn't have to call, she called me to 'thank' me for offering to drive her parents to Corpus when I went on vacation and to let me know how 'sweet' she thought I was. They had told her they were okay with spending a short time at the funeral since they could go back in a few weeks. Then she backed out because there wouldn't be enough room for all of us in the car. Oh, darn...

Last night, C3 and I went online and I gave him three options of places to stay and let him pick the one he wanted. He's decided not to take a friend, that it will just be the two of us (except for the drive) and he picked out a cute little 1 bedroom cottage, walking distance to the beach and with a pool to boot. No internet access, so still trying to figure that one out since I won't be able to live without it for work and he wanted to be able to do his xbox live stuff.

Thankfully the original plans are back in place with a few additions like transporting the in-laws but we have cut the days at the beach down by one night so that we could spend one day with my BFF and her son at their new home for one day. We will spend the night and then pick the in-laws up and drive back home. I'm actually excited instead of dreading it and cannot wait for the 12th to get here!!!

More Tag Crap...

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:07:41 GMT

Special shout out to Connie for tagging me - NOT!

What were you doing ten years ago?
1. WTF? Are you serious? I can't even remember this morning...

2. Working 60+ hours per week starting a new business with the Big Guy.

3. Chasing a 4 year old around while dealing with the early teen years of the other two.

4. Traveling for business too much.

5. Being young(er) and thin(ner)

6. Hmmm...

What are 6 things on my to-do list for today?
1. Work

2. Work-out

3. Cook dinner

4. Sleep

5. Sleep

6. Sleep

Snacks I enjoy?
1. Anything Chocolate

2. Cinnamon donuts

3. Pretzels

4. Chocolate

5. Chocolate donuts

6. Chocolate pretzels

Things I would do if I were a billionaire?
1. Purchase my own island

2. Build my dream home on my island.

3. Hire a staff to take care of me and my dream home on my island.

4. Retire on my island.

5. Hire women to be the mother’s of my grandchildren off the internet so that they can live with me on my island and I can spoil them.

6. Never leave my island.

Places I have lived?
Fort Worth, Texas and surrounding suburbs – BORING!

How did you name your blog?
I originally thought that I would detail the excitement of raising three boys. Once I discovered that detailing the efforts of raising three boys was NOT exciting, I was stuck with the name. Hmmm…

Who am I tagging?
Sarah because she needs something else to do. Hawkeye Chick because I want to. BJB because I miss her. Pat because she thinks she can slack through the rest of the week because she already told everyone to have a Happy 4^th. So Not June because she IS a slacker. Tricia because she won’t want to…

What the ...?

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 18:48:52 GMT

This was TOO funny NOT to share especially since it is my favorite phrase!

What the ...? N.C. offers new license plates

If you know what WTF means in text-speak, you’ll understand why

RALEIGH, N.C. - Thanks to some text message-savvy grandchildren, North Carolina drivers whose license plates have the potentially offensive “WTF” letter combination can replace the tags for free.

The News & Observer of Raleigh reported Tuesday that the state Division of Motor Vehicles has notified nearly 10,000 holders of license plates with the letter combination. Officials learned last year that the common acronym stands for a vulgar phrase in e-mail and cell phone text messages.

But this week, the DMV officials got another surprise when they learned that the same letters appeared on the agency’s own Web site on a sample personalized plate.

“I can’t believe it,” DMV Commissioner Bill Gore said Monday when told about the online glitch. “Obviously, I didn’t know it was there.”

Officials are working to remove the sample plate.

The WTF-5505 used on the Web site’s sample plate was the first random letter combination available when the DMV switched from blue- to red-lettered plates, officials said. DMV spokeswoman Marge Howell received a sample plate WTF-5506 to use as a prop for news stories about the switch.

A 60-year-old technology teacher from Fayetteville complained about the plate last July after her teenage grandchildren clued her in.

I mean seriously - WTF? LMAO!!!!

True Confessions

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 14:53:30 GMT

I am so hoping that today is going to be better than yesterday. So far, so good. Employees are scared shitless and not saying a word while they work like busy bees! That is a good thing. I brought my whip today just in case, muwahahaha!

By the end of the day I had such a migraine and was SO pooped that I didn't even make Hubby take me to dinner but I did not cook! He will however PAY tonight with an even MORE expensive dinner, muwahahaha!

Some of you have asked and some of you may not remember, but I did find out yesterday afternoon that I actually was going to be a grandmother. Sadly, she miscarried. Strangely, I didn't know if I was relieved or sad, but for some reason sadness won out and I cried like a big fat baby. I felt a little odd feeling like that. I mean it was not the ideal situation and neither of them were ready for that and it was a relief that they did not have to go through with it. But I guess I really wanted it to be true, if only for my own selfish reasons. Two very good friends told me that my sadness was a combination on my crappy day and the news, and I guess it was. They sure made me feel better when they told me even though it wasn't my time they thought I would be a fabulous grandmother! Thanks girls! Anyhow, C2 and the porn star have broken it off and I guess that is an okay thing too.

Okay, enough of that, I thought I would leave you today with a good funny! To my chagrin this is a true story, I am thankful that mine and my families real names are not used in this blog, THAT would be too embarrassing...

Last week one of the casseroles that I was making had egg noodles in it and Hubby asked me if egg noodles were pasta? I looked at him like he was an idiot and said,

“Yes, they are the same kind of noodles that are in chicken noodle soup and it is considered pasta.”

He said “Chicken noodle soup doesn’t have pasta in it.”

Again, I looked at him like he was an idiot and C3 started laughing hysterically and I said,

“What do you MEAN chicken noodle soup doesn’t have pasta in it? What the hell do you think the noodles are?”

So he says (and I swear to GOD),

“Those are pasta? I thought those white stringy things were the chicken that got squeezed through some kind of machine and since they looked so funny they called them noodles.”

So I said,

“Are you fucking serious?”

And he said,

“What do you mean am I serious? I didn’t know that was pasta.”

Then I said,

“You are a fucking moron – you can’t possibly be serious. I have never heard anything so stupid in my life!”

Then C3 said,

“Dad, what do you have noodles in your brain?”

And he got his feelings hurt. Now we continually call him 'Chicken Noodle Head' and that makes him him real mad!

I’m almost embarrassed that I shared this…

SO my day is sucking...

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 16:41:04 GMT

SO I got to work LATE today. WHY? Because last night when I was giving a couple of the employees a ride to the bus station, one of them rolled the window down in the back and it wouldn't roll back up! This has happened to every damn window and twice to the driver window AND this back window since I've had the damn jeep. So we took in to the dealer last night (thankfully since it stormed so bad) and it will be fixed today to the tune of $500 fuggin dollars. The rent car place was already closed but SMART Hubby says, "no problem you can drive C2's car tomorrow since he drives to our house and rides to work with me." I started to call him to ask him and Hubby says "No, it will be no big deal I promise you."

SO the power was off until 4 fuggin am, needless to say it was HOT and I couldn't sleep and tossed and turned all night long. I had actually fallen asleep at one point only to be awaken by Hubby bolting upright in bed and screaming "What time is it?" Scared the piss out of me and almost gave me a heart attack and I retorted, "How the HELL do I know, there's not any fuggin power!" When the power went off at eight we had lights and TV's on and we were suddenly awaken again at 4:00. SHIT! Heart attack number 2. Once the air came on I finally could sleep and Hubby got up to get ready for work.

SO at 5 minutes to six, C2 calls and says he overslept so he will drive himself to work today and STUPID Hubby says 'OK'.

SO I ask "WELL, how am I supposed to get to work today?" He says "can't your Mom take you?" I said "I'm sure she has to work today!" He mumbled some other bullshit about wishing we had a spare car (that's another story for another day). I was so pissed and I told him "Don't worry about it, I will WALK to the rental place and take care of it all by myself." He said he was sorry but it wasn't his fault. IT SO WAS HIS FAULT! You better bet your buns that when he picks my butt up from work today that he will be buying me dinner because I will not be cooking for his butt. Besides I don't know if the stuff in the fridge is rancid or not. The ice in the ice machine had started to melt and was one big chunk of ice but the meat seemed to be still frozen. A few minutes after he left for work his mom calls and says that he called and told her I needed a ride to the rental place. Doing some back pedaling there aren't you bud!

SO my FIL shows up to take me to the rental place and they have NO cars. I ask where another place is and they gave me two more places in my town. GUESS FUGGIN WHAT? Neither of them had cars. HOW can three places in my little town not have any cars? We are not a tourist town. I even called Budget before we went there and got a reservation AND a confirmation number but when I arrived the guy said too bad I have no cars - bastards. I was near tears and I couldn't ask my FIL to drive me to work because he WON'T drive on the fuggin freeway. There is NO other way to get to my office.

SO I told my FIL just to take me home and then I had to call my mother and ask her to come take me to work.

SO while driving around looking for a rent car, I think that I convinced my FIL NOT to go to the funeral because they just shouldn't be traveling alone. Guess what I offered him? I told him that C3 and I were going to Port Aransas on July 13 and if he and mom wanted to go to Corpus (on the way) and spend the week with her sisters to help out and console, I would be happy to take them and drop them off and pick them back up on our way home. Are you with me here? That means there will be no room for the sister in laws and if they can't or won't drive then they can't come. Seeing as both of them told their parents that they couldn't take them to the funeral because of car issues and other shit, me be thinking they won't want to drive for vacation either. I'm a genius!

SO far my morning has sucked, thankyouverymuch, and I am doing two jobs for two weeks and just got a phone call about a MAJOR screw up by one (or more) of my employees and got my ass chewed on and spit out by the Big Guy and the wife. Look out people - heads are about to ROLL...

Dancing in the Dark - NOT!

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 03:06:11 GMT

I finally found a good use for Hubby's stupid headlight thingamabob! Since we have been without power for 2 hours now, it has come in very handy. I was in the middle of giving myself a french manicure when the power went off. Sitting in my bathroom it became VERY dark and I couldn't even seen my hand in front of my face. So I whined enough that Hubby found his way into the kitchen in the dark and found the headlight and WAH LAH, I was able to finish my nails. I was also able to find the last electric bill so that I could call them and report the outage. Someone please explain to me WHY I am explaining a power outage in Texas to a person in INDIA that doesn't speak the English language very well? WHY? Of course the only thing that I could decipher from the conversation was that he/she knew nothing but gave me a confirmation number in case I wanted to call back. WTF? I'd rather sit in the dark than to go through that BS again. Keeping my fingers crossed on the meat and stuff in the fridge...

So you may be wondering how could I be blogging without power? Well thank goodness some kind woman named Barbara is not smart enough to protect her wireless connection and I am stealing from her. It actually is helpful since Hubby's answer to the problem was to go to sleep. Uh, hello? Who is going to take care of the shit if I go to sleep? Like resetting all the clocks? Men, such pigs. I do have a funny story to share about Hubby but today is not the day.

Actually today turned out to be a pretty shitty day. I had to have a come to Jesus talk with my assistant about everything ranging from her lack of getting to work on time, to her mistakes, to her looking like she just climbed out of bed and came to work. I feel bad that she has been dealt with some pretty shitty things the last two years but it is effecting her job and I can't have that. After making her cry, I made her go on a leave of absence starting tomorrow. So I had to spend the afternoon figuring out where she was at with all her duties and now I get to do her job and mine for a few weeks. I pray that she actually takes my advice and goes to see a doctor, she is seriously killing herself by not eating. Her size 0 clothes fall off of her.

After stressing out about that all day, at the end of the day I received a phone call from Hubby's sister and she left a message that she had some news. The evil person that I am, I was wishing that she was backing out of the vacation deal (which I am still trying to figure out how to get out of). Unfortunately, she called to tell me that Hubby's cousin had been shot and killed by her ex-boyfriend around 4:00 today. She has left after years of abuse and was staying with her sister in Houston and had just gotten a restraining order against him. Apparently this made him mad and he came to the house and it appears that he just let loose with the gun, shooting her numerous times, shooting at the walls and even trying to shoot her neice. Thankfully she was able to escape and go for help but it was too late for Velma. As of the last phone call at around 8:00, he was still at-large so naturally the family is in turmoil.

Hubby is very sad about this and the MIL and SIL want to travel down there, and are quite insistent. First of all they are both in poor health and second I am quite certain that nobody will volunteer to take them except me. I just can't take the time off of work so I am going to have to convince them they can't go since nobody else will. It sucks being the only adult in a family sometimes.

Okay enough babbling, it has taken for ever to type this in the dark on the laptop with only my headlight and it is now past my bedtime. Still no electricity, I sure hope it comes on soon...

Weekly Menu Review Catch-Up

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 18:33:47 GMT

Okay you guys can laugh at me all you want about the Boobie scare but he's only 14. Well, he'll be 15 in September, BUT he is my BABY! I don't recall noticing or caring about boobies with the other two, but come on, this is my angel, my baby boy. I can't have some skank corrupting him! I don't know when girls with boobies will be acceptable, just let me get used to his having a girlfriend and all that crap first, okay?

I haven't done a menu review in quite some time so I thought I would try to catch up with at least the last couple of weeks. Except on a few bad days during all my medical testing, etc. I have actually still cooked, pretty much every night. I just haven't had the umph to update the list or write reviews. It's getting a little harder to be creative and I will admit to throwing in some old 'just get it on the table' meals from the past. I've also repeated some recipes that I knew were easy, so I guess you can say I failed at my new year's resolution... Hubby only mentioned once that he didn't think that one of those meals qualified, he dared not mention it again...

Since C3 is preparing for high school football and Hubby works outside in the heat, they have requested high carb dinners, especially pasta. One, so C3 can put some weight on his skinny ass 5' 7" body and two, Hubby says it gives him more energy to get through the hot days. Needless to say, I haven't been eating a whole lot of dinners because I do not need to put on weight nor am I stupid enough to work outside. (Oops, did I say that out loud?) So most of the recipes that I have found, have other 'stuff' in them and I can eat around the actual pasta. If not, I skip supper.

Three Weeks Ago:

Monday - BBQ Brisket with mashed potatoes and corn - This SUCKED. For some asinine reason Hubby took a whole spiral ham and a 10 lb brisket out of the freezer that Saturday because 'they had been in there forever.' Uh, yea, because there is only THREE of us and I was saving them for a SPECIAL DAY, duh. So anyway, they were not thawed enough to cook on Saturday and Sunday I made the Ham so Monday I threw the brisket in the oven with a couple jars of BBQ sauce lathered on it and cooked it like 4 hours (I had C3 throw it in there and turn it on at 2:00) - It sucked. It was tough and fatty and just sucked. 10 fingers DOWN.

Tuesday - Calico Chicken with Penne - Can't say that I ate this one because it didn't look appetizing. Nobody complained however, so one thumb up.

Wednesday - Creamy Alfredo Shrimp Casserole - This was to DIE FOR! Highly recommended! Three thumbs up!

Thursday - Grilled Oriental Pasta Salad - This sounded better than it actually looked once I was done. Not a big fan of ramen noodles, I actually wonder if they are really noodles? So I skipped eating this one too! I don't think the boys much cared for it because they only had one helping and the leftovers did not go in the lunchbox the next day. Two thumbs down.

Friday - Buffalo Chicken Salad - I actually haven't made this yet because I have decided that I am no longer cooking on Friday or Saturday nights. I am pretty sure that most of you would agree that 5 home cooked meals a week is above average, so they can kiss my ass! I do plan on making this recipe someday though because it sounds really good.

Last Week:

Sunday - Grilled steaks and baked potatoes - The whole family was home for this one and kept bitching about what time dinner would be ready. Uh, when I say SIX that means SIX, don't show up at 4 and start bitchin. Anyway, I hurried through the cooking of the steaks and they were not really done, kind of medium rare, which I think is nasty. Apparently so did everyone else and most of it went to the dogs. Two thumbs down.

Monday - Chicken Tetrazzini - From what I can remember this was pretty good, but it took a lot longer than 25 minutes. Two thumbs up.

Tuesday - Spaghetti with Vodka Sauce and Shrimp - I actually made this up on the quick. Didn't feel like messing with dinner so I made spaghetti, opened a jar of vodka sauce and de-frosted some frozen cooked shrimp. They never knew the difference and raved about this 'recipe' - I see dumb people everywhere... Two thumbs up.

Wednesday - Baked Rigatoni with Ham, Mushrooms & Peas - This was not my favorite and I just tasted it. Mainly because I bought chopped, cubed ham in a package and it looked a little nasty to me. The boys said it was okay. One thumb up.

Thursday - Baked Chicken and Pasta Salad - SUCKED - wasn't into cooking so baked some chicken with lemon pepper seasoning and made the pasta salad that comes in a box. Two thumbs down.

This Week:

Sunday - Pasta Salad - Found a recipe in the coupon section of the Sunday paper and went for it. It had artichoke hearts, sliced hard salami and provolone cheese in addition to the normal pasta salad stuff. Cheated and didn't make the recipe for the dressing and used some Italian dressing in the fridge. They were actually lucky that they got to eat because I was totally emerged in my new Janet*Evanovich book and did not want to cook. Turned out pretty good and everyone had several helpings! Two thumbs up.

Monday - Cheesy Tuna Noodle Casserole - I'm not a big fan of the tuna casserole so I actually wasn't planning on eating this one, especially since I had TacoBell for lunch... But it was delicious, absolutely wonderful! I used crushed Lays potato chips not the shoestring fries (that sounds nasty) and everyone loved it! I think it made enough to feed an army so there was plenty of left overs after they had 2 servings each (I only had a small one, I swear...). Five Thumbs Up!

Until next time... (or the next time I get around to it...)

Boobies and Such

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 21:32:09 GMT

C3 doesn't have a real cell phone, he has one of those minute phones where I have to add minutes to it each month. He wanted a real phone but for the life of me I couldn't see why he needed a phone since he never TALKS on the phone at home. But last year with all of his sporting activities it became necessary to get something so that we knew where and when to pick him up and such. Came in pretty handy, whenever he would go somewhere with friends I'd make him take the phone in case I needed to get in touch with him. When we first got him this phone we allotted him 60 minutes per month. If he used all the minutes before the end of the month, he did without and I threatened bodily harm, so he was really good about NOT using those minutes. During the whole school year, not once did he ever go over or run out of minutes. Some months he actually had minutes left over. Most of the time he didn't even know where the damn thing was. Proud Mom!

When summer came, I decided that I would give him some extra minutes because I wanted to be able to stay in contact with him during the day while I am at work. Not like he is running wild in the hood, but I make him call me before he leaves the house and he has to call me when he gets where he is going and then do the opposite when he gets home. This ain't my first rodeo, poor little baby...

School let out at the end of May and I put 120 minutes on his phone. The week before last, barely two weeks into summer he informs me that he is out of minutes. When questioned he claims ignorance. I went ahead and put 120 more minutes on there and told him that he'd better watch those minutes.

One day last week when I got up his phone was sitting in the floor in the living room next to the couch. I decided to check his minutes. They were half gone and there was a new message from 'Demi'. So being the snoop that I am, I checked his inbox and his outbox. He is apparently smart enough to erase the messages in his inbox but NOT smart enough to erase the messages in his outbox. Let's just say there has been some loooonnngggg discussions and plans being made between him and 'Demi'. He had already told me that he and 'his friends' were going to the movies Friday night, so I planned to drop the bombshell and ask if 'Demi' was going too on Friday afternoon.

Thursday, Hubby is teasing C3 about his date on Friday night with his 'chica'. WHAT? He told his father before he told ME? EXCUSE ME - this is not how it is supposed to work. I'm furious, how could he? And how dare he take my glory away from catching him in the act! Damn kid!

Anyhoo, because he is a male and has that 'not always very bright' trait, he went to take a showere left his little my*space page open on the computer (his has crashed, dadgumit), I decided to snoop some more...

I found 'Demi's' page and I am flabbergasted to see that she has a picture of herself on there in a BIKINI and she has BOOBIES! Uh, no, I do not think so. I was very upset about this and in quite a quandary of what to do. My son was NOT going to have a skanky girl for his first girlfriend and I was NOT going to have another She-Devil either! She had BOOBIES!

Friday afternoon when I came home from work I told C3 that in order for me to allow him to go on this little 'date' that I wanted to see a picture of this 'chica'. He says "No way, Dad didn't even ask me to do that!" So I told him, too bad, so sad, but I am the MOMMA and MOMMA rules on whether her sons date skanky girls and if this girl is skanky then he would not be going to the movies with her. After much discussion, he pulls up the my*space page of his new little girlfriend. It's NOT 'Demi'! It is a somewhat cute, innocent little girl and she was so plain that I cannot even remember her name! So I asked, then who the hell is 'Demi'? Apparently 'Demi' is the friend that was trying to set him and whatshername up.

Ahhh... She was already at the movies when I dropped him and his friend off and guess what - she does NOT have BOOBIES - THANK GOD! And I went ahead and added him on to the family plan with unlimited texting because whatshername is costing me a fortune!

When Will I Ever Learn?

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 01:44:05 GMT

Last week my SIL, Dee (Hubby's sister, one that I actually like) called and invited me to a girl's weekend at a B&B on a lake about an hour from here. She said it would be her, Grace (another sister I like) and Shelly, Hubby's nephews wife. I've been in a funk lately so I thought why not, maybe that is exactly what I needed.

Fast forward to Monday, Dee called and said that they had two rooms for this Friday but for only one night, we would have to check out on Saturday. Since check in is at 3:00 and check out is at 11:00, I didn't really want to spend $100 or drive an hour both ways to spend the night so I told her that I was out. She called back later ad said that a couple of other options were a few days during the week in August and the weekend of the 18th in July. I told her that I couldn't do August during the week and I couldn't do the 18th because that would be the day that C3 and I were coming back from our vacation.

She asked where we were going and I told her that I had secured a 1 bedroom condo for the week in Port Aransas on the beach and we would be leaving on the 13th. I told her that C3 would be bringing a friend and we just planned on hanging at the pool or beach and relaxing, reading and napping. She then said that she thought that sounded really great and she would love to come, let's scratch the weekend at the lake and see if the girls want to go to the beach. I was a little taken back and said sure but I was really thinking that none of them would want to spend that much money.

A little while later Grace called all excited about our trip to the beach and said that she was in, what where the arrangements? Instead of saying "No, this is a trip for me and C3" I somehow found myself arranging for a 2 bedroom beach house and agreeing to pay for 1/2 of the house since I had 3 people going and Dee and Grace could split the other half. Then somehow I agreed that I would pick some of the best recipes from this year's dinner experiment and I would cook dinner every night if they would pitch in on the groceries. I tried to convince them that we would have to take 2 cars because I didn't think we would all fit with the gear in my Jeep, but once again I found myself agreeing to stuffing everyone and everything into my car AND splitting the gas three ways.

When will I ever learn? When will I learn to keep my mouth shut? When will I learn to say no? It appears my and my BFF, the cooler, will be spending tons of quality time together again this year...

Everything is Looking UP!

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 20:48:30 GMT

Had that fun little test yesterday and thankfully everything turned up A-Ok! No polyps or cancer so that means things are looking up! Discovered a few other issues but those can be handle with diet changes, like that will ever happen. But, thanks to all of you for your kindness and support. Currently all testing is done and I just have to do a MRI again in September to check the growth of the liver tumors. Let's hope they shrink instead of grow.

I've been trying to figure out where C3 and I can go on vacation this summer. The way things are looking it might just be a trip down the road. I hate to drive too far with the gas prices but living in Texas everything is far. This will probably be the last year that C3 will actually want to go on vacation with me so I need to get it in gear. He and I have been doing this every summer since he was about 6 and he still wants to go this year. I need to jump on it because this may be the last time he will ever want to hang out with me that long! Any ideas people?????

Other than that nothing new over here, just trying to catch up from too much time off work lately.

Weekly Menu Review - NOT!

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 20:04:23 GMT

I was going to do an actual review of last week's menu (bet some of you didn't even NOTICE!) but once I realized that I am on a LIQUID DIET today and will be leaving early to drinks some liquid SHIT juice, I decided that there will be no talk of food today.

So what else is there to talk about?

Wells, let's see, I will be enjoying the blissful world of sleep tomorrow afternoon while the rest of you work. But I bet you will be having a better time than me since they will be sticking major machinery up my ass, thankyouverymuch.

What else?

Hmmm....

I know there is something else, what was it?

Oh Yea,

Blood work came back and THE TUMORS IN MY LIVER ARE BENIGN!!!!

Yea, that was it...

Phew, one down one more to go! Keep your fingers crossed, will ya?

Shit Happens

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 21:55:09 GMT

In case you were wondering, or even if you were not, here is my latest health update.

After the last CT scan I received a call from my regular doctor about a couple of 'other concerns' that the cardiologist failed to mention. Such as a 'mass' on my liver and some 'nodules' on my lungs. I have been unwilling (and incapable) of talking about any of this from plain fear of the unknown, in addition to the fear of dying. As you know, the unknown has introduced the joys of panic attacks to my life and just coping with day to day life has been about all I could handle lately. However, now that I know more and know that there is an actual plan, I do feel better. (Well that and the med's work really well…)

So...

After suffering in a MRI machine for one whole fuggin hour last week (lest us not forget my phobia for enclosed places) I went to a gastro doc today and learned that I have 4 tumors on/in my liver, the largest being the size of a ping pong ball. He does not feel that these are malignant and we did more blood tests that will show markers on whether or not there is an indication of malignancy and then decide if we should do a biopsy. Apparently doing a biopsy of the liver, although not painful, is very dangerous since every 30 seconds all of the blood running through your body goes through your liver thus sticking a needle into it could cause you to internally bleed to death. Nice.

If the blood work is normal then we will do another MRI in September to measure the tumors, if there is no growth then we will repeat every 6 months for three years and hope that they never change. If there is growth, we will have to do a biopsy.

However, even though the tumors may not be malignant there are normally only two reasons that women get these kinds of tumors. One, an extended use of estrogen, such as birth control or hormone replacement or two, cancer elsewhere in the body. Traditionally, women get cancer in four locations, breast, uterine, cervical or colon. Since I have not had extended use of estrogen, do not have a uterus and had both a pap and mammogram in December that were normal, then that leaves the possibility of the colon.

Since unfortunately I have a family history of colon polyps and/or cancer, I am lucky enough to get to go do a colonoscopy next Wednesday. Yippee! If there are polyps, then they will remove them at that time and test them and depending on those results, we will then decide where we go from there.

As far as the nodules/cysts on my lungs, they appear to be just cysts and nothing more but as a precaution we will do another CT scan in November to measure them to see if they have grown or changed, if not then we won't worry about them.

So there you have it, whether you wanted to know or not! No sympathy needed or wanted, but I will accept any and all prayers ya got...

Movie Review

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 02:34:11 GMT

I cannot remember the last time I went to the theater to actually see a movie. I'm sure it was something cartoonish or something blew up but you can bet it wasn't something that I wanted to see. Actually I don't really like to go to the movie theater. I think the seats are uncomfortable for my extended frame and it is way too LOUD to bear. The floors are dirty so I have to hold my purse in my lap while trying to balance the extra large, buttered popcorn with the mega-sized soda (because you have to get the bang for your buck). I don't even watch many movies to tell you the truth because I can't sit still that long. When I do I like to do it while sitting on my comfy chair, in the privacy of my home and I can hit the pause button whenever I want something to eat, need to tell someone to 'shut up, I'm watching a movie', or I need to pee! But last night I went outside my comfort zone and went to see THE movie of the year, Sex and the City!

IT WAS AWESOME!

I wasn't a regular watcher of this series when it was on but one weekend when I found myself blissfully alone at the homestead, I watched the entire series from beginning to end. Then I was hooked!

Like others that have blogged about this movie I won't give away the plot, but I will highly recommend it whether you were a SATC groupie or not. I was mesmerized to the screen from the beginning until the credits rolled. It made me smile, cry, gasp and laugh so hard that I almost pee'd my pants. It made me thankful for all the girlfriends I have ever had, now and in the past and it made me realize that we need our girlfriends. My favorite line in the movie was "You're not alone." And you know what, I was happy that I wasn't alone when I watched it, I was with my favorite SIL who is more like a sister than my own sisters sometimes. I was glad that I went outside my zone and went to a real movie last night and I highly recommend that all of you go see this movie, not with a guy or your husband, but with a girlfriend or two. It will be well worth it!

A Collection of Short Stories...

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 21:56:04 GMT

I'm not really sure why I haven't had time to blog lately, it's not like I don't have anything to say. We all KNOW that I always haven't something to say! Part of it is that the ol' J.O.B. is kicking my ass and I'm trying to find some decent people that want to actually WORK for a living. I started a new project in January and was hiring 'exclusive' agents that wanted to work all the FREE leads I could give them. Seriously, FREE leads of people that were actually LOOKING for insurance. All I asked in return was that they WORKED these leads and made a minimum of 2 sales per week. Not a math wiz here but if I give you 100 FREE leads a week and you called all 100 of them and kept calling until you got hold of them, what are the odds that you could sell at least 2? I don't solicit new business or work leads and I sell at least 3 a week on top of doing my regular job. So - I FIRED THEM ALL ON FRIDAY! Yep, all 12 of them. Done. Finite. Out of HERE! The girls in the office are calling me the Terminator. The Big Guy came in today and said "Shit, she's not the Terminator, she's the Executioner!"

My baby (C3) is now 5' 7" and has this fuzzy thing on his upper lip. I made him go wash his face like 6 times before I realized it was hair. Then I made him go shave and I cried. He's also officially, so he says, in high school. I'm officially throwing in the white towel.

C2 finally sold his first house! Well, it was the only house he had listed. But that is great and he is pumped and all ready to go spend that money before it is even in the palm of his hand. Since he's working for his Dad now, he seems a lot happier and had been thinking of giving up his real estate license. I talked him out of it and told him that he needs it in his back pocket in case he doesn't want to work for his Dad forever. I think the sale made him realize he wants to do that.

C2 finally sold his first house! Yes, you've read that before but that also means that my BFF is REALLY moving away. Not just away as in another part of town but away as in Corpus Christi which is somewhere like 8-10 hours away from here. The realization that I cannot just walk over to her house when I want to get away from the family or when I need a shoulder to cry on is hitting me pretty hard. June 26th is her move day. That's only 3 weeks away!

Remember the nice little ring I got for Christmas? Yea, the engagement looking ring? Yep, that one. Well I CANNOT tell you how many times I have been asked when I am getting married since I've been wearing this ring. Don't get me wrong, I am not ungrateful and I love it but it was really getting old hearing it. So me and C3 went shopping a few months ago and stopped at the jewelry store to see if they had a band that matched it. THEY DID! And the price wasn't that bad at all but it was definitely an amount that I needed to share with Hubby before I just bought it. So since that time, I have repeatedly asked or mentioned this band. When C3 asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day, I told him "Take your Dad to the jewelry store we went to and tell him to BUY the ring, that's all I want." That didn't work. So yesterday as Hubby and I were running errands a motorcycle drove by. YOU GUESSED IT! He starts in on the "I need a motorcycle" shit. I told him he just got a new toy, how many damn toys did he need, and why can't I ever have a toy? So he asked me what kind of toy did I want and I told him I didn't want a toy, but it sure would be nice to have that ring I've been harping about forever! As I am looking at the different bands because the one I wanted was GONE, the clerk asked me when we were getting married? I told her that I'd been married almost 26 years and she said I deserved whatever I wanted. They are making it for me and I get it Friday! Yippee ME! Yes I know I am spoiled.

Several months ago we had a visiting Priest that does missionary work in Bolivia. He actually visits about once a year because he does all of his work through donations. They have built several schools and done a lot for the various villages in his area. He told us about adopting and sponsoring children and Hubby and I decided that we would adopt a child. He told us that you could request the sex of the child but they couldn't guarantee requests would be met. I sent a long letter requesting a girl because, well because, hell I have enough boys as it is. We got our package in the mail this weekend with the picture and letter from our new adopted child. Yep, you guessed it, his name is Pablo.

The Wedding From Hell

Thu, 29 May 2008 04:37:25 GMT

I think I have mentioned before that I volunteer at our church as a Wedding Coordinator. Now that sounds a lot more exciting than it is. My actual function is to help organize the wedding party and monitor the rehearsal so that they feel comfortable with how the procession will be and then on the wedding day, help decorate the church and organize and baby sit the wedding party and make sure that everyone is there and in line at the starting time of the wedding. Most of the time I enjoy doing this but on occasion you run into a bridezilla or even worse than that a motherzilla of the bride. This past weekend we had the entire wedding party and relatives of the bride as complete rude and hateful monsters. The only nice person was the actual bride. Not that she didn't have her issues...

For clarity, I have never attended a church of another denomination except as a guest at a wedding or other celebration so I have NO idea how things work internally in these houses of worship. Nor do I know anything about their 'ceremony or celebrations'. A little background for those of you that are not Catholic, but definitely one of the reasons that I enjoy my religion is that we have traditions and a formalized ritual of the celebration of our services. Whether it is a regular Sunday Mass, a wedding, a funeral, or whatever the celebration is, their is traditional order of events that happen. There are also 'sacred' places in our church, first and foremost is the altar which is the center of our celebration of the Word and we are taught at a young age that it is a special place reserved for certain people such as the priest and other ministers of the Mass. It is not a playground for children to run around and play. Another sacred place that is generally not open to the public, is the sanctuary. This is the place at the church that the priest prepares for the celebration of Mass and where his robes and stoles are kept, along with THE BOOK, the blessed cross that is used in all processions and the host (bread) and wine that will be used in the Mass. Generally, but not necessarily there is a restroom that is reserved for the use of the priest. In other words it is NOT a public restroom. At our church, which is a very large community of about 1500 families, we have about 6 public restrooms that are clearly marked. The door to the sanctuary are generally kept closed at all times.

In the Catholic Church there are several sacraments (celebrations) and rituals that go with each one. There is Baptism, First Holy Communion, First Confession, Confirmation and Matrimony. Each of these sacraments have requirements and classes that teach you about the sacrament and the ritual of celebrating the sacrament. For marriage in the church, couples must go through several months of preparation including having a sponsor couple to help them discuss the realities of marriage, a retreat for growth and to learn about the commitments of marriage and they also sit down with a minister, whether it is a priest or deacon and plan the actual celebration or mass. They spend time picking out the music, the readings, the procession and the order of their celebration. It is ALL done by the bride and groom down to the last detail. It is my job as a volunteer to make sure that their choices (and dreams) and visions of their ceremony meet their requests. It is NOT my job as a volunteer to be a lackey for the families of the couples or bridal party, nor is it my duty to be their servant. I am there to help the ceremony run smoothly and as requested by the bride and groom.

During the rehearsal, we make sure that everyone knows where they are supposed to be and we go over it a couple of times to make sure it is clear. We show the wedding parties where they will be prior to the ceremony and we try to keep them in that place so that the ceremony can start on time. It is important that the ceremony starts on time since the church is reserved for an allotted time period because there is always something scheduled before or after their wedding. We might have two weddings on a Saturday and we schedule those 3 hours apart for plenty of time for pictures, etc. The latest time slot for a wedding is 3:00 and every Saturday after a wedding there are confessions scheduled and then a 5:00 weekly Mass. I don't mind volunteering for this but while I certainly understand that this is the day your dreams are made, I am a volunteer and I don't really want to spend my entire weekend waiting on them.

This weekend we had an excruciating painful group of people to deal with. The rehearsal was scheduled for 6:00 Friday evening and was a disaster. To make sure we are there on time the volunteers show up at least 5:30 before the scheduled time. Nobody showed up for the rehearsal until 6:15 this week and then most of the actual wedding party were not there, they were on their way or the bride didn't think they needed to be there... Several other non-essential, but nonetheless, boisterous, opinionated people were there trying to change the ceremony to their liking The bride was being as nice and accomodating as possible but even she was being somewhat of a pain since she REFUSED to participate in the actual rehearsing because 'it was bad luck' WTFever... This was a bi-racial couple and the groom was an only child and originally from The Bronx. His Momma, was NONE too happy about this marriage arrangement even though this couple had been together for almost 3 years. And she made it very well known that our Church was not "Catholic enough" whatever that meant.

The bride and groom were both 27 years old, college graduates and had very nice jobs. His Momma did not care about any of that, her baby boy was marrying a 'black girl' and she was not afraid to share those sentiments with EVERYONE. She was probably the rudest, bitchiest woman I have ever dealt with in my entire life, hands down and it made me feel bad for the couple. The mother of the bride was so obviously stoned out of her mind that I fully expected to see track marks up and down her arm. Though her parents were divorced, the father of the bride did not show up at the rehearsal until we had gone through the process THREE times. Normally the rehearsal takes no more than one hour but this week we did not finish until 8:30. As we were trying to corral everyone out of the church so we could lock up and go home, my 72 year old mother who is the keeper of the keys, was locking up the church and the sanctuary and quite honestly we were all a little bit testy about the unruly crowd. One female of the bridal party commented that there was someone in the restroom in the room that my mother had just locked the door, THE SANCTUARY, and since my mother is hard of hearing and refuses to wear her hearing aide, she did not hear her and was walking away. Those of us that did hear her, gasped and were shocked that someone had entered the sanctuary. When we tried to explain that this was NOT a public restroom and that this was a sacred room , she and her white trash husband became testy with us and told us there was NO SIGN that said nobody could use that restroom. We calmly tried to explain the reason it was not a public restroom and they literally came unglued and started a HUGH loud ruckus and would not shut up about it. At this time my mother finally clued into what was going on and being an even more devout Catholic than myself and the other volunteers became upset and that made it an even uglier confrontation. I was very close to bitch slapping some people upside the head after they verbally attacked my mother and I actually feared that the little bitch was going to slap my mom.

On Saturday the bridal party was scheduled to be at the church at 2:00. After the confrontation the evening before, it took all I had in me to go to the wedding that day. We volunteers were there at 1:30 to decorate the church and place the bows on the pews, arrange the flowers and set up the reception/guest book table. Guest began arriving and by 2:30 none of the bridal party had shown up. We were up in arms about what to do because we had a strict schedule to adhere to. Finally at 10 minutes to 3, the bridal party and their families showed up and we ran around like headless chickens trying to pin corsages and boutineers on everyone I went to give the Mother of the Groom her corsage and she nastily told me that she had SPECIFICALLY ordered a wrist corsage and SHE would NOT be wearing THAT corsage. I had honestly had my limit of shit for the day and I told her that I was only in charge of handing her the corsage that was in a box with the label 'Mother of the Groom', I was NOT in charge of the flowers, I was a volunteer and I really did not give a rat's ass if she wore the corsage or NOT and handed her the box and walked away. I did say a prayer and asked God to forgive me for being so ugly to this mean woman, but I just couldn't help it! It took me forever to organize the bride's attendants to get ready for the procession listening to their bitchy comments and remarks about the 'rude' people at this church, while holding my tongue, and the wedding finally got started at 3:15. This was the first wedding that I have ever done that once the bride was walking down the aisle that I did not go in and watch and enjoy the ceremony. I sat outside and unfortunately had evil thoughts about the whole lot of them.

So that my friends is the 'fun' job of being a Wedding Coordinator at a Wedding From Hell!

What I Did On My Memorial Day Vacation...

Tue, 27 May 2008 21:00:01 GMT

I wonder if they still make kids write that stupid paper when they come back from summer break? Remember the teacher saying, "Now class, (to blow off some time since I really don't fuggin want to be here either) to get back into the groove, let's all take some time and write a one page essay on "What I Did on My Summer Vacation" - Arghhh - Hated THAT! Why? Because we NEVER did anything on our summer vacation except play outside from sun up to sun down because my mother would lock us out of the house, which as a mother now, I completely understand because WHO wants seven kids hanging out in the house when you are used to sitting on your butt watching your soaps? Not ME! Since we had seven kids we didn't have the luxury of going on a 'summer vacation' and I just hated to listen to everyone else's stories about going to the beach or flying here or there and going to summer camp in some exotic place like Colorado or whatever 'fun' families did on summer vacation, but mainly I guess I was just jealous.

Where was I? I lose track a lot lately - oh yea, what I did on my 3 day Memorial Day weekend... (Don't bother sitting down or running to grab a cup of coffee or anything like that, it's not that exciting...)

Saturday, 5:15 a.m., Hubby wakes my happy (not) ass up and tells me that he wants me to go with him to a local park and watch the sunrise over the little lake (pond, whatever). Now this could have gone two ways, A) I could have screamed at him like I normally do and ask him just WTF did he think he was doing by waking my ass up that early in the morning and then the whole weekend would have been ruined or B) I could suck it up and go with him and be a nice person. It was a TOUGH decision, but I chose B. It wasn't too bad, we went and got us a BIG ol' cup of coffee and walked to the far side of the lake (pond, whatever) and found a park bench and watch the ducks and ducklings do their thing waiting for the sun to rise. Unfortunately it was a very cloudy morning so we didn't actually see the sunrise, but we saw a peek of sun through the clouds. Now don't go thinking that this was one of those mushy, romantic moments, because it wasn't. Well it could have been if we were young and in love, but we are old and have been married forever, so it was just a nice morning.

Then we went to breakfast at a little dump that used to have reasonable prices only to discover that it is even more of a dump and the pricing was not cheap. Then we headed to get some more flowers and I did this:

and this,

and this, and this, .

And since I am showing off my flowers, here is what I did on Mother's Day:

and to brag just a little more, here are some up close shots of some of my blooming flowers:

Saturday afternoon (and Friday evening) were spent at the wedding from hell, but I am saving that for a whole other blog, at church. But I will say, no matter what your religion or denomination is, when you are inside another religion's or denomination's church, which can also be described as "a house of GOD", you should respect that.

Sunday was the planned 'mudding' adventure and I was all prepared to go and had picked THE perfect outfit and heels out so that I could have Hubby take my picture for all of you that requested it. However, C2 decided that he really wanted to go and since there is only room for two and one ice chest of beer on the Jeep, I got bumped and stayed home with C3. He played Xbox 360 and I did laundry and then we went and put new flowers on Dad's grave and had pizza. That was a good time...

Yesterday, Hubby did his 'cease the day' bullshit and tried waking me up at 6:00 a.m., but this time I didn't not choose B. Nope I chose the "You come in here and tell me to cease the day one more fuggin time and or wake me up again, I am going to cease your ass into tomorrow." Thus, after my rant I was wide fuggin awake and got up. Honestly that was about the most excitement for the day because for the life of me I cannot remember what else I did the entire day.

That's what I did on my Memorial Day Weekend, what did you do?

4 Things Tag Game

Fri, 23 May 2008 02:01:33 GMT

Jaysey tagged me with this a few days ago and I have just not had time to blog much this week. For lack of anything else to say, here are my answers and like Jaysey, I've taken the liberty to change the ones that were either too hard or I didn't want to answer, lol!

What are four jobs you've had:

1. Fish fryer, which sucked on Friday or Sat night when I had to work late and then go party smelling like fish.
2. Woman's Shoe salesclerk - back in the day when there was no such thing as self-serve and I had to PUT the shoe on the woman's foot. I will not even go there on the nastiness (and bitchiness) of that, ewww...
3. Telemarketer - this lasted exactly 4 hours, the last 3 of which I had unplugged my phone from the back and only pretended to make calls. Went to lunch and never came back.
4. Mannequin Model in a Men's clothing store. Yep, wore a man's suit and stood in store window at the mall and people tried to figure out if I was 'real' or not.

What are four ways you know you are living your life’s purpose?

I don't even KNOW what my life's purpose is, even at my age...
1. None of my children have been maimed or killed by my own hand.
2. Ditto that Hubby is still around.
3. I've been married for almost 26 years, there must be a purpose in life for THAT.
4. Hmmmm.... stuck, stuck, um, got nothing.

What are four things you do to take really good care of yourself?

1. I take all my prescribed medications.
2. I get manicures and pedicures, but not often enough.
3. I cook with fresh vegetables and ingredients.
4. I buy very nice sheets so that I sleep really well when I sleep.

What are the four events that have most formed how you live your life today?

Oh this is way too easy to take the easy way out!
1. Marrying Hubby
2. Birthing C1
3. Birthing C2
4. Birthing C3

~~What are four things you do to keep your motivation up to work out and eat healthy every day?~~

What are four things you ate today? Much easier, thankyouverymuch

1. Salad for lunch
2. Boiled shrimp
3. Salad for dinner
4. Little Debbie filled chocolate cake (oops)

Name four people who have been the most influential in motivating ~~you to change~~your life:

1. My Dad

2. My Mom

3. The Big Guy

4. Me

~~What are your four top reasons for staying off refined sugar and white flour?~~ I'm with Jaysey on this one, I have to change this because I don't know what it means, so 4 foods you just will NOT eat:

1. Eggs
2. Milk, I know that you don't eat it, but I won't put it in my mouth or down my throat
3. Mayonnaise
4. Oysters

List four ~~ways that~~ reasons you blog~~ging has helped you attain or maintain your goals:~~

1. I get to be ME
2. I've met so many new and great friends
3. Venting with out judgement
4. I always wanted to be the Great American Novelist (shhh, this is a secret never shared before)

4 People I tag: Hmmmm... has anyone not done this?

So Not June Cleaver
theotherblonde
Tricia
Hawkeye Chick
The Rules:
- Link to the person who tagged you
- Post the rules on your blog
- Share four things in these themes (or replace them with your own “four things” questions)
- Tag four random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
- Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Prayer Circle

Mon, 19 May 2008 20:30:36 GMT

I am stepping WAY OUTSIDE of my own comfort zone here and I am going to ask everyone that reads this blog entry, whether you came here because you meant to or you got here by accident; whether you are a Christian or not; whether you care or don't; whether you have ever said a prayer in your life or not - Please take a few minutes, or seconds, and either say a quick prayer or simply just think positive thoughts for Sarah, her mom and her grandmother. Thank YOU! It means a lot to me and I know it will to Sarah too.

Hubby's New Boy Toy

Fri, 16 May 2008 16:01:59 GMT

When Hubby was about 8 years old his Dad bought him a mini-bike and thus his love for all things loud and fast and the great outdoors began. He eventually moved up to dirt bikes and also had a big Honda 750 when we met. He was the 'bad boy' on the motorcycle to my 'good little Catholic girl'. (Okay, get over yourself, at least my PARENTS thought that!)

When we were newly married, he began racing dirt bikes. Every single weekend we were traveling here or there for races and every single week he would spend tons of money (that we did not have) for parts and stuff to keep going on the weekends. You might find it hard to believe NOW, but even as prissy as I was (and am now), I actually enjoyed going to the races and partying with our friends. Too soon the babies came and it just wasn't quite as fun to drag a baby and all the baby paraphernalia with us and I ended up staying home more and more. Hubby was actually pretty good and we have plenty of dusty, rusted trophies in the attic to prove it.

After several years, two babies, the cost of the sport, my resentment about staying home with two kids every weekend and the knee surgery from the bad crash on turn 5, Hubby reluctantly gave up his little hobby and sold the bikes and all the crap that went with them. Time went on, children grew, along with the bills, and 'real' life took over but Hubby never gave up the dream of getting another dirt bike. Sadly for him, there just never seemed to be enough 'extra' money for a new toy.

More years passed, the children got older as did the expense of raising them, but Hubby never gave up on his dream. (As in NEVER, please shut up about damn motorcycles already!) Many more years passed and Hubby never gave up and was always making me go look at this one or that one and I was always saying 'NO'. The older we got, the louder my NO got and not for money reasons but because, um, HELLO Dude, you ain't a spring chicken anymore!

Throughout all of these years Hubby would come up with other 'hobbies' to feed his love for the outdoors, but none of them ever replaced his need for speed. Let's see there was bow hunting, skeet shooting, golf, fishing, hiking, camping, you name it, he tried it! But nothing replaced his desire for the speed and thrill of a dirt bike. Being the loving wife that I am (SHUT UP) I always participated in his 'hobbies' with him because that is what he wanted. The older and prissier I got, admittedly the less I enjoyed any of these things. His idea of a good time outdoors meant moving and doing and my idea of a good time outdoors means a chaise lounge, a book and a pitcher of margaritas!

About two years ago I had finally heard ENOUGH about damn motorcycles, and I said "FINE, let's go buy you a damn motorcycle so you can STFU already!" (25 years is a LONG time people!) We went to every single, cotton pickin, motorcycle store from here to Timbuktu. We looked at every single one he saw in the newspaper or on the internet but he never could find the ONE. What he SAID was that it wouldn't be any fun if we didn't get two so I could enjoy it with him, like THAT was ever going to happen, but I know the truth, Hubby finally admitted to himself that he is too damn old for a dirt bike...

So he started a NEW obsession. (I don't know if you've picked up on this but OCD runs in this family.) His new obsession was he HAD to have an off-road vehicle so he could go MUDDING. Something WE could enjoy together, like if. It went from 4-wheelers to trucks to everything under the sun that he could 'convert'. And it all started over again - the continuous search - ARGHHHH!!!!!!

I was back to saying NO, you don't need that, that is dangerous, you are OLD. But he looked and looked and looked and looked and made ME look at every damn one of them. A couple of months ago he ran across one on the internet that he thought was just PERFECT, although it stated that it was definitely a 'project' in the works. Hmmm... To his surprise, (and mine actually) since I was sick of hearing about it, I said "Just go buy the damn thing already!" And he did. And YES it is definitely a project in the works but he is happy and best of all he is working on it all the time and has finally STFU!

I've named it 'Old Yeller' and had gotten out of participating in the 'fun' until Mother's Day (thank goodness for two seated vehicles and having boy children that will go with him). Yep, what Hubby REALLY wanted to do for ME, was to take me out MUDDING and spend time TOGETHER. So, once again, in order to get him to STFU, I went mudding but only after I told him that if I came home with one speck of MUD on me he would sleep on the couch for the rest of his life.

So here's Old Yeller - Hubby's pride and joy, just washed with his brand new wheels (let's not even go there) - WTFever...

Don't you just love the stupid ass grin - a boy with his toy!

Update - I feel a need to update since I just looked at these pictures and it APPEARS that this is a nice little vehicle. Pictures LIE, this is actually a PIECE OF SHIT, rusty and about to fall apart and I make him park it in the garage so the neighbors don't get pissy...

Strange Calmness

Thu, 15 May 2008 21:51:28 GMT

I've been trying to write this blog all day but for some reason the words that are in my head aren't sounding right once I type them and I have to keep starting over. Given that, if the following entry sounds like a babbling idiot on drugs, try to remember that this is exactly what I am...

I woke up this morning for the first time in a very long time with a strange calmness about me. I can't explain exactly why but for some reason I think it is this blog thing. I mean I can come on here and rant, bitch, moan, tell funny stories, scary stories, sad stories or just be stupid and no matter what I say or no matter what I reveal, no one judges me. Do you know how liberating that is?

In blogland I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. I don't have to be nice if I don't feel like being nice. I don't have to act like I feel good when in fact I do not. I don't have to lie and tell you all that I haven't had a cigarette in 2 weeks, when in fact I have fallen off the wagon. I bet if I lit one up right now in front of all of you, you might not like it but you wouldn't condemn me. There is so much freedom in that.

I am not perfect and I will never claim to be perfect. I live by the law that there is only one that can judge me and one that I will answer to. Here, in this world, nobody expects me to be perfect and nobody judges me and that is where this strange calmness is coming from. I think I like it.

My life, my family, my children, even me, we are not perfect. They would be horrified if they knew I used this blog as a personal journal and the whole entire world knew all of their 'business'. That's okay, this is NOT about them, it is about me. This is the one and only thing that is mine, all mine, and nobody can take it away from me. (Well I guess Bill could if he wanted too...)

So, I'm calm. I find it liberating when I let it all hang out and open the closet door for the skeletons to come out. It is an even better feeling to get the kind and loving responses that I get from all of you. They reassure me that I am not the crazy, whacked out bitch that some people think I am. I may not be normal, but I am loved.

Thanks to all of you for allowing me to feel this way.

I stopped taking the Chantix on Monday. I had every single 'adverse reaction' listed in the pamphlet. I was tired of being nauseated and tired and I just plain didn't feel good. I don't think a medication should make you sick and I honestly don't think it was helping me quit smoking either. I think when I did have 5 full days on the wagon that I did that myself. When I fell off the wagon, I didn't go back full force, I am only smoking a few cigarettes per day. I still have the same pack I bought Sunday night. But I was tired of not being me and really tired of not feeling good. It may take me a long time, but I will quit. And I do feel better, not 100%, but better. I needed that.

Enough of my babbling and no I haven't smoked crack today either...

For those of you that read Sarah (or gullygirl), say a little prayer for her mother and her tonight. Everyone needs a little prayer every once in awhile and I think they deserve some today.

Ciao!

And the Winner Is...

Wed, 14 May 2008 21:59:13 GMT

Well there was a six way tie with BBB, Sarah, BJB, Hawkeye Chick, Jaysey and Lynn, who'd have thunk? So after the drawing, for which my assistant is like about to kill me wanting to know WHY she had to do that, the winner of yesterday's Match Game is LYNN! Send me an email with your address so I can send your PRIZE! But, since I am in such a giving mood at this very moment, there will also be consolation prizes for the other 5 winners, Whoot! Whoot! So you guys need to send me an email too! My email is kat317atsbcglobaldotnet!

So here are the answers to the game:

A. Lovely tulips and two cards - would be C3! He made his Dad get up at the crack of dawn and take him to the store where he picked out some lovely tulips and a card. He also made me a homemade card at school (pretty sure that was somehow a school project for a grade but a little weird for the 8th grade.)

B. A phone call wishing me Happy Mother's Day - would be C2! Although he didn't come visit, he did give me a call first thing in the morning. Of course he did also tell me that he had to get off the phone he had about four other Mother's to call. When I asked what other MOTHER besides me could he possibly have to call, he retorted - all my babies momma's. I told him he was an ass and he said he loved me too.

C. Dinner out - would be C1! The good news is that he actually moved out this past weekend too! Life with C1 leading up to this dinner has been a tough one and still is a very sore spot with me. This has been so heartbreaking that I haven't really told anyone about this until now. C1 and I hadn't spoken to each other for about 6 weeks until last Friday evening. Not ONE word. We had an argument one morning and it wasn't a pretty argument. It was one of my normal cursing, screeching, I am late for work and you are an ingrate, temper tantrums. During the duel he said something to me that was like a stab in the heart and that I had to pray very hard about, (and I still pray about to this day) in order to forgive him. And I do forgive him because that is what I am supposed to do. Even if I do forgive him, I was still hurt and deserved an apology. This all happened the day before my 'fake heart attack' and since that time he obviously has let his anger build and build and decided that I am now and always have been the worst mother ever.

Hubby was helping him pack up and move Friday evening and MADE me ride with him to deliver some of things to C1 that were in his car. This caused a little argument between Hubby and I because Hubby's take on all of this was that I was an 'adult' and I needed to just buck up and get over it. I explained to Hubby that I was over 'it' however I was deeply hurt that C1 had chosen to not only keep the feud going but he blatantly continued not speak to me, would speak to everyone in the room except me. He would not answer the phone when I called and he never acknowledged my message letting him know that a childhood friend's father had passed away. He never ONCE asked about my health and if there were times when we were in the house alone together, he would leave and make it apparent that he was leaving. I told Hubby that as his mother I deserved more respect than that. I could care less if he never spoke to me again but the continuous disrespect was killing me and I was extremely hurt that he cared so little about me.

Saturday night Hubby went to help C1 move a couch and they had a little discussion. Hubby relayed how hurt I was and asked C1 to just stop and make peace. Hubby also claims that C1 said he knew 'nothing' about by health and was upset that nobody told him. I find that a little hard to believe since I knew that my mother had called him while I was at the hospital and he told her I was probably just 'stressing out'. Everyone else in the family knows about my health, C2 calls me and asks me how I'm feeling all the time, but I will give C1 the benefit of the doubt and assume that he was clueless. Later that evening C1 called me and asked me to dinner 'alone' on Mother's Day and I accepted.

Had I known that it was going to be an ambush of all my failings and faults I would have driven myself so I could leave. But according to him, I do not 'know' him nor have I ever taken the time to 'know' him. He feels that he raised himself and became the 'person' he is today without any help from me or his father. We've never given him anything in his entire life without throwing it back in his face how much it cost. He made it through five years of college without 'any' help from me. I have always treated 'others' better than him, being the sweet, funny, life of the party around everyone but him. I have never been supportive of him or praised his achievements. I project a negative vibe and he refuses have negative people in his life and on and on and on. But the best part was that he told me that he was an adult and while he was sorry that he also lost his temper that day, NOBODY has the right to talk to him in that manner or voice that I used that day and he was still angry because I had never apologized. He also told me that he was sorry that I have been ill but was angry that nobody had told him, but I should have known that my lifestyle choices would eventually kill me and if I were more responsible with my health, like for example you have high cholesterol and you are eating cheese, then I wouldn't be sick.

I seriously felt like I was sitting across the table from an alien from outer space. Through my sobs, I admitted to him that I didn't think I was the best mother in the world but I certainly didn't think I was as 'evil' and he was portraying me. I also told him that regardless what he thought about me, and that I didn't really care what he thought about me, I was not his friend and never would be his friend, I was his MOTHER, and that alone deserves more respect than he was giving me now or had ever given me. And then I asked him to take me home.

All I can say is that I was devastated. I really thought that I had seen and heard and been through just about all the hell a person could deal with in one lifetime, but I was wrong. Of course now that he has gotten 'it' off his chest he's my regular bud again and has been calling and even came by this morning to see how I was feeling.

But enough of that, remember is is MERRY MAY!

D. The new flowers - that would be Hubby! Yep, he went and bought out the plant store and was mighty proud of himself! Of course he wanted to 'let' me put them where I wanted them so he 'supervised' my planting. Of course this was AFTER he took me mudding in his new toy, that's a whole 'nother blog entry.

E. That would be me - after all that I fell off the wagon and bought a pack of cigarettes. I know that this was a stupid choice and I am getting back on the wagon, but hopefully you all understand that and forgive my slip....

Match Game

Tue, 13 May 2008 15:24:03 GMT

Playing games is always fun and winning is even better, so today we are going to play match game and see which one of you is the smartest and the winner! The winner will win a prize, don't know what the prize will be, but it will be something. In the case of a tie, there will be a random drawing and my trusty assistant will pull a name out of a hat. Of course she will be clueless why she is pulling a name out of a hat because she doesn't know that I blog or play games while I am demanding that she works her ass off, but that is another story entirely... So, on to the game...

The object of the game will be to see if you can match which family member gave me what gift for Mother's Day:

Givers:

1. C1

2. Hubby

3. C3

4. C2

5. Kat

Gifts:

A. Lovely tulips and two cards.

B. A phone call wishing me Happy Mother's Day.

C. Dinner out where the discussion stemmed around the fact that I apparently have been a horrible mother, my children raised themselves, I've never given anything to my children without throwing it back in their face, I've never been 'there' for my children and my health issues are due to the lifestyle that I chose to live.

D. $200 worth of flowers and plants that I planted myself.

E. A pack of cigarettes.

Game on!

Life with C1

Fri, 09 May 2008 15:36:26 GMT

Life with C1 is AWESOME! Why, you ask?

He is moving OUT next weekend!!!!

Party ON!

Happy Mother's Day to All you Mothers!